Stay Tuned For Danger
by MrAFanfic
Summary: Here's a little rewrite of "Stay Tuned For Danger" based on the game (specifically the arglefumph playthrough and "Everything Wrong With Stay Tuned For Danger").
1. Chapter 1: Mattie Jensen

Chapter 1: Mattie Jensen

You'll never guess who I'm visiting. It's Mattie Jensen, that one soap star from "Light Of Our Love". She's renting Aunt Eloise's apartment in New York. Which is strange, because Mattie is a rich and famous actress and Eloise is a public school librarian who lives in Florida. How the hell the latter is rich enough to own an apartment 3 blocks away from Central Park, I will never know. After hearing about what happened back at Paseo Del Mar High School last year, Mattie invited me to the Big Apple. According to her, Rick Arlen, her co-star, is getting death threats but isn't going to the police. She wants me to investigate. Can you imagine anyone not liking Rick Arlen? No, I can't either.

Well, I'm here. 7226 Lexington Avenue. "Come on in, the door's open!" invited a voice, presumably Mattie's, from inside. I walked inside and down a hallway to the living room, where Mattie was sat in a chair. Dear God, she appears to have gone so far overboard with plastic surgery that it looks like her entire body is made of plastic.

As I observed, she noticed me. "Welcome to New York! I'm so glad you could come out here on such short notice!" she peeped. "Wow, this place is nice," I said. It really was, given that it was supposedly a studio apartment. "Not only that, but I'm staying with a soap opera star. How very droll." I continued. "Believe me, it's not. 5 AM shoots, millions of lines to learn, and uptight people who yell all the time. Not to mention the death threats," she retorted.

"Tell me about the death threats," I ordered, deciding to serve my purpose of coming here, to begin with as immediately as possible. "Well, for the past month, Rick has been getting these awful death threats. At first, we all shrugged it off, since you do get the occasional odd letter in this business. But then they started to get weird," Mattie recounted. "Weird?" I asked, thinking that descriptor was much too mild to describe death threats. "They're totally bizarre. Not only did he get letters, but somebody sent him a box of poisoned chocolates, a broken watch, and then there's the teleprompter thing," Mattie continued.

"What teleprompter thing," I inquired. "I was reading the teleprompter during a scene with Rick. All of a sudden, my lines read 'You're going to die a horrible death, Rick!' At the time, we all thought it was a sick joke, but nobody admitted to doing it," Mattie explained.

"Thank you. Now, tell me about the letters," I commanded. "Well, the first ones had letters cut out of magazines, you know, like on a ransom note. They were all signed by someone called BT Kaisuur. Somehow, the news leaked out, and the press totally jumped on them. Then they started getting ugly and twisted," Mattie responded obediently.

"Thank you. Now, what about the poisoned chocolates?" I queried. "Rick's a major chocoholic. His fans and friends are always sending him boxes of chocolates. But these chocolates were so nasty, Rick spits them out. I've never seen Rick say no to chocolate before," Mattie explained, clearly distressed by all that has happened.

"Thank you for your help, Mattie. However, you really should go to the police with this," I stated. "That's the problem," Mattie said, her distress now more apparent, "No one is taking this seriously, especially not Rick. He thinks nothing can hurt him." "It does explain a lot. People aren't infallible, you know. I know that better than most," I sympathized. Mattie nodded in agreement, then looked at her watch.

"I'm running late. I need to get to the studio. Hey, why don't you come over and visit? I'll leave a visitor's pass for you at the security desk. Oh, and before I forget, here's a copy of my apartment keys. I'm always losing my keys, so I have plenty of copies. The studio is at 1999 Broadway. Just catch a taxi outside. They'll know how to get you there," Mattie exclaimed hurriedly, before leaving in a rush.

I didn't have a timetable to keep to, unlike your generic soap star, so I decided to have a look around the apartment. As I looked, I found numerous magazines about Mattie. She really is quite vain underneath that lovely plasticine exterior, isn't she? Also, these photographs look so bad that I couldn't help but chuckle. I then decided to have a look at one of the few magazines in this apartment that isn't about Mattie. I turned the pages and found a spread of Rick's face. I'll admit, this spread was terrifying. I quickly closed the magazine and looked at the script that Mattie had been reading earlier.

I was quite surprised to find that the episode had a name, as last I checked, daily soaps don't have titles for episodes. Also, it's November 13, 1999, and we're only in episode 139? I guess the season cycles for "Light Of Our Love" begin on June 27 of each year. You'd think they'd begin on New Years Day, wouldn't you? Because I definitely would. Anyways, I also found some letters that Rick and Mattie had exchanged, as well as numerous other trinkets. At last, I decided to make my way down to the studio.


	2. Chapter 2: It's Raining Klieg Lights

I went outside the apartment and hailed a taxi cab. "Where to?" the person asked. "1999 Broadway, please," I answered, and the journey began. There was surprisingly no traffic at all, which was a luxury I thankfully had for the entirety of my journey. We travelled through Central Park to arrive at Worldwide Broadcasting. I entered the building and decided to have a look around the lobby first. I took note of the directory on the wall, as this would be important for letting me know where to go in the building. I also looked inside the magazines, and noticed that letters were cut out, as Mattie had earlier described. I then decided to attempt to enter the work area. There was a security guard at the front desk.

"Can I help you?" asked the guard. "Yes, Mattie Jensen left a visitors pass for me," I answered. "Here you are," he said dryly as he gave me the pass. "You'll need to sign for it. You'll need to come to the desk every time you enter so you can be logged in," the guard explained. I thanked him and entered the studio.

I first noticed a portrait of and old looking woman. "WWB Founder, Mildred W. Strathorn" read the plaque on the painting. I then proceeded down the hall. As I passed the office of William Pappas, the producer, I overheard him saying something that puts him in a position to be the prime suspect. "I don't care who he is. No one breaks a contract with Bill Pappas. I'll kill him before he runs out on me," he muttered angrily. I jotted this down, then went to Mattie's dressing room. I entered the room to find her sitting on the chair, just as I had found her at home.

"Hey, glad you could make it! We'll be shooting soon, so I only have a couple of minutes to chat," Mattie greeted. I figured I'd try to learn about my victim a bit. "Can you tell me more about Rick?" I asked. "He's talented, handsome, and rich. Some people would hate him just for that. But Rick wouldn't hurt a fly. I have no idea why someone's trying to scare him with these threats," she mused. "How long have you two been a couple?" I asked, deciding I probably should know at least a bit about the show before beginning the mystery solving. "You mean off screen or on screen? You see, Rick and I dated when we were with a touring company for Romeo and Juliet," Mattie asked. "Maybe an old flame did this out of jealousy?" I speculated. "Actually, Rick and I are no longer dating. But, come to think of it, I know someone who could be jealous enough to do something like this: Yuri Danner, Rory's twin brother!" Mattie explained. Gee, that is definitely very helpful. I'd forgotten that all soap operas have evil twins.

Mattie must have noticed how annoyed I looked, because she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, but it's been a bit of a running joke around here. You see, everyone's been saying that it's Yuri who's been causing all this trouble. But seriously, I have no idea who could be behind this," she explained, before looking at her watch.

Oh, look at the time. I've got to get to makeup. Hey, why don't you come down to the set in a few minutes. I'll be shooting a scene with Rick. In the meantime, make yourself at home," she said, before leaving to go to makeup. While she was there, I looked around her dressing room. I found a love letter in French (maybe Francis Bonnefoy was Mattie's current love interest?), and a newspaper. There was also something inside of Mattie's makeup drawer, a torn up letter. I reassembled the pieces to make what appeared to be as follows: "Sorry that it has to work out like this-but there is no choice at the moment. You must trust me on this. We both know what needs to be done, and I am taking the steps, however drastic, to see that it is finished as we discussed-I just need your support. When all this blows over and everything calms down, we can be together." Wow, Bonnefoy is probably a jealous yandere bitch.

Anyway, the rest of what I found really amounts to a pendant with Mattie's initials and her makeup. I decided to head down to the set to witness the scene being filmed. I walked on set and onto a balcony, where there was much chatter before the scene's filming began. When that action call was sounded, the scene began. Dear god, this is horrible acting, but what can be expected? I mean, this is a soap opera. Can you believe that Mattie won 3 Emmys for this bullshit? Anyways, there was a creak, and that grabbed my attention. Almost to my horror, I found that the klieg light was moving in ways a ceiling light should not be moving. It then fell, and Rick barely managed to jump out of the way in time. Rick shouted something as he left with everyone else. It was then that I decided to look around the set to see if I could find anything incriminating.

I first noticed that the clock was broken in one of the rooms. I then proceeded to look around the rest of the set. I noticed that something seemed off with the floor behind the sofa. I then proceeded to look at the teleprompter, which did indeed have the horrific message Mattie had described earlier on it. I also noticed the blocking plan, which had clearly not been followed whatsoever. I picked up a screwdriver from the workbench as I went. From here, I decided that I was done with the set for now, and went to go find Rick.


	3. Chapter 3: Rick Arlen

As I headed towards Rick's dressing room, which is next to Mattie's, I overheard more talk from William Pappas' office, sounding like angry voices. "What kind of studio are you running here? My client could have been killed!" said a new voice. "I told you I'd get to the bottom of this. I've already closed the set to visitors," Pappas soothed. I decided to talk to Mattie first to see what she thought of all this.

"Oh, this is horrible! There's no way that could have been an accident! I think it's another attempt to get Rick! The timing's just too weird. All of these threats, and now he's almost killed onstage!" Mattie groveled as I arrived. She then noticed me. "I'm too upset to deal with this. I gotta get out of here! I need some space. We'll talk later," Mattie addressed me curtly, before leaving. I completely understood.

I figured I'd finally meet Rick now. I enter his room to find himself looking at a mirror. He noticed me and invited me in. "Hello, gorgeous! Where have you been all my life?" he flirted. I'm half his age, and I find this to be incredibly inappropriate, even more so since he has just escaped a life-threatening accident, and I stated as such. "You were very lucky to get out of there alive," I scolded him severely. Now I know why people wouldn't like Rick Arlen. I also think this is the reason he and Mattie aren't dating anymore, and I feel horrible for her. "Considering all this, there's no way that this was an accident," I continued, angrier still that this creep wouldn't take anything seriously. "Get out! Out! Out! I need to investigate immediately! Out!" I yelled sharply. He left his tail between his legs. What a disgusting pervert. I almost wished he had died due to that klieg light. Almost.

And investigate I did. I found the poisoned chocolates and all the notes and letters that Mattie had described to me earlier. I wish I'd done all of that myself, given my conversation with the creep. I also found some magazines about him and decided I'd had enough of that pervert's room. I then left and decided to calm myself in a quiet room, such as the prop room. I went there to find the woman from the portrait at the front desk. I find it very peculiar that the founder and owner of a TV Network is working out of the prop room. I can only hope that she is doing so voluntarily.


	4. Chapter 4: Founders, Directors, and Agen

"Hello there. Oh, are you a visitor? According to the policies memo dated July 14, 1954, no one is permitted in the prop room, except for those people permitted in the prop room," said the woman, who was Millie Strathorn, the woman from the portrait in the lobby. Yeah, no shit sherlock, but who exactly is permitted in the prop room? "You may want to talk to the director, Lilian Weiss, if you want to become permitted. She likes to do all of the hiring around here. Good day, my dear," Millie continued.

So I did. I went to Lillian's office and knocked on the door. She answered, looking very cross. "May I help you?" she asked. "Yes, hi. I'm a friend of Mattie's and I'm interested in learning more about a job with the studio," I said, not entirely lying. "Do I look like a tour guide?" she rapped, "Look, the set's closed to visitors. I'll need to take your pass away. But if it's any consolation, I'll be happy to show you the door." She took my pass away and I decided to head home. What a bitch. As I was leaving, I noticed that these people had Magnum PI on their staff thanks to a large portrait of him on the wall. Why am I even here?

When I got there, Mattie was waiting for me. "Hi Nancy. I'm sorry for skipping out on you like that. I guess I'm not a very good hostess. It's just that this whole thing with Rick really shook me up," she said. About time, since the first few conversations I've had with her end with her cutting the conversation off and leaving. "I understand," I replied, "but now that the studio is closed to visitors, I can't really investigate further." "I assume you've met Lillian then," Mattie assumed, surprisingly perceptively, "She's quite a bitch. Now I think about it, I know what you can do to circumvent her. My agent, Dwayne Powers, can get you a job as an extra, so you can get on the set. You don't even have to do any actual acting, you just have to be present. I'll give him a call first thing tomorrow morning. Just head there then. I'll tell him you're an old friend that wants to try out acting. The address is 318 West 10th Street, No. 101. Oh, also, your boyfriend called before you got back, and told you to call him the first chance you got!" she explained.

So, I called my darling Ned first. "Nancy!" he exclaimed when he picked up the phone. "First, you leave me to visit your Aunt Eloise in Florida, and now you're in New York! By the time you get back to River Heights, I'll be an old man!" "That's okay, I'll still love you," I replied. "Even if I'm bald and wearing dentures?" Ned ventured. I couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Of course, Ned. Even if you're toothless and hairless!" I reaffirmed. "Hannah told me everything," Ned explained, "it sounds neat, yet dangerous. Do you need anything?" "I finally met Rick Arlen. The man has an ego the size of Texas and won't stop flirting with me even though I'm half his age!" I complained. "Eugh, that's disgusting," Ned sympathized. "On a less gross note, I got a look at the letters he's been getting. Some of them have letters cut out from magazines and some of them are typewritten. For some reason, the Y is dropped on the typewritten ones. Maybe this means something?" I speculated. "You should probably go looking for a typewriter that drops its Y," Ned suggested, "Anyways, what about the threats?" "They're getting serious, but Rick isn't," I replied. "Maybe he knows more than he's letting on," Ned speculated, and I couldn't help but agree. We finished our conversation and I decided to call my besties, Bess Marvin and George Fayne.

I tried Bess first, but she didn't pick up, so I tried George. "Fayne residence" came the answer. "Hi George, it's Nancy!" I replied, happy to be talking to people I knew I could trust. "What's your case now, Nancy? Is it missing jewels, an international spy ring, or a ghost?" George guessed. "None of the above, I'm afraid. Someone is sending Rick Arlen death threats," I replied. "You're kidding, right? Don't tell Bess that, she's going to fly out and save him! Did you meet any other daytime superstars?" George laughed. "I did meet Mattie Jensen. Actually, I'm staying with her!" I replied. "OMG, that's so cool. I bet Bess is so jealous!" George fawned. "Speaking of which," I asked, "Where even is Bess? Her soap opera fangirling would be useful to me about now." "Truth be told, she's out of town for a couple days. Why, you need anything?" George told me forlornly. "I should tell you that a klieg light fell during filming and nearly hit Rick," I told her. "OMG! Is he all right? Was it an accident?" George asked. "He's okay, but they had to shut off the set," I replied. "Did you search the area? Maybe the light was sabotaged to fall," George speculated. "That's for sure," I agreed, "I found a light clamp that looks like it had been sawed through." "There's no way this wasn't an inside job," George ventured further, and I couldn't help but agree. We finished our conversation and I figured I'd go to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and went to the talent agency. When I got there, I pressed the buzzer. "Go away!" came the reply. I pressed again. "Don't you understand?" the voice screeched. "Mr. Powers? Mattie Jensen sent me to see you about becoming an extra?" I inquired. "I'm sorry, come in. It's suite number 101," he apologized.

I went in and sat down with him. "I apologize for my abrupt greeting," he started, "You must understand that if I opened my door to every struggling actor in this town, I'd never be able to do any work." "I'll meet with your assistant, if you are too busy," I replied. "Actually, I recently had to fire my assistant, so I need one. My standards are quite high," he explained. "I'm a friend of Mattie Jensen. She told me you might be able to get me a job as an extra on Light of Our Love," I introduced. "Mattie spoke highly of your abilities, and I'm more than happy to give a young actor a chance when I can," Dwayne glowered. What abilities? "Normally, I don't do this, but seeing that you know Mattie, I could absolutely pull some strings for you. You see, WWB uses me almost exclusively for hiring their talent. Mattie and Rick both got there through me," he continued. That's... Only 3 people, counting myself. "You're Rick Arlen's agent?" I asked. "Yes, I was. I must confess that he has no talent. Were it not for his good looks and charm, he'd never be where he is now. You see, Rick foolishly believes acting to be a status symbol and not an art form. He's a ladder climber who will use anyone to get to the top, and he's sure to fall from it one day," Dwayne retorted. That's rich coming from someone who hired Rick for his talent. Also, why does Dwayne still have Rick's merchandise and promotional items? "Anyways, you should probably get started. They'll have a pass for you when you arrive. Now, I must get back to work. It was a pleasure meeting you, and let me know if you need anything," Rick finished. I went over to WWB, and sure enough, a pass waited for me when I arrived.


End file.
